I recently relented to Dr./Mrs. MusingMD’s 6 months of pleas to discuss the option of getting a dog and before I knew what was happening, we had a puppy. I say relented, but after 25 years of marriage, I realize that she had already made the decision and was just allowing me the “impression” that I somehow had some shared decision making in the deal. I love dogs, but just wasn’t sure I was ready for a 15-20 year commitment and feared the effect it would have on work responsibilities, spontaneous travel, and day-to-day routine. However, almost 1 month into the decision, I’m happy with how it has worked out. “Hadley” is very sweet, loving, a lot of fun, and training very well. The kids really love her and Dr./Mrs. MusingMD is happier than I have seen her since our 2 kids were babies. I think this explains her strong desire for the puppy…she needed another baby to take care of since both her “babies” are in college.
I knew that we would need to make some purchases associated with the new dog, but hadn’t considered the fact that Dr./Mrs. MusingMD doesn’t do anything half-heartedly. I had already begun a rough budget of costs (as is my customary practice for any large purchase or purchase involving recurring costs) that included:
- Veterinarian visits for Well Visits
- Veterinarian visits for Acute Problems
- Immunizations….lots of them
- Dog food
- Dog “treats” (for enticing the little beast in training)
- Cage/Pen to sleep in with doggy bed
- Dog Brush
- Leash, Collar
- Dog License (Now that I think of this….did we even do this yet?)
- Grooming
- A couple of toys (ball, chew toy)
- Food & water bowls
- Occasional boarding or hired dog-walker for traveling out of town
I thought my list was fairly comprehensive to account for all the essentials and more. My mistake was not realizing that for the year that Dr./Mrs. MusingMD was “researching” getting a dog, she was searching the internet furiously looking at all the products available on the interwebs to help train your puppy, to make your puppy physically and emotionally well adjusted, to make your puppy smart by “stimulating its mind” (my favorite line that Dr./Mrs. MusingMD gives me every day that a new item arrives at our home), and to help make the pet owner’s life easier. Clearly, I have a lot to learn about raising a puppy in these modern times. In fact, if left to my own devices, it is obvious that our dog would be neither an intelligent or physically and emotionally well adjusted member of society.
I had no idea that puppies need so many receptacles. We have a pen for travel, a pen for sleeping, a pen for playtime, and an extra pen which a friend gave me (before we got Hadley) that Dr./Mrs. MusingMD has informed me is too spacious and will therefore negatively impact our puppies’ development. We have also begun purchasing gates for strategic placement within our home as I have learned that allowing a puppy to have free reign of the home too early could result in an inappropriate assertion of dominance. These restrictions on space also include the necessity that we must keep all 9 of the doors on our first floor closed at all times (which necessarily resulted in a morning spent applying silicone lubricant to each of the 27 hinges as all of this door closing made it apparent to Dr./Mrs. MusingMD that our doors squeak).
I was additionally ignorant to the large variety of tethers available for a dog. The nickel plated swivel clip on our first leash was too heavy for our puppy and therefore affected her ability to train to walk upright. The next leash fixed this problem, but is not adequately long to allow a proper “J-Loop” in the leash when walking which promotes acceptable puppy placement relative to the person walking the dog. This glitch appears to be corrected with the 50 foot leash that Dr./Mrs. MusingMD purchased next (but which requires you to wrap the extra 44 feet of leash around your arm while on walks). I assume we will work this out at the same time we work out the proper collar as we have neckband collars, body harnesses and all forms of humane restraints with special attention to avoid the inhumane, cruel and savage “choker” collar.
I have also realized that I was uninformed with regards to proper puppy hygiene. I was not aware that getting a puppy was the personal-care-product-equivalent of having another woman in the house. As a man that routinely looks for products that serve as combination shampoo, face and body wash, and shaving gel, this has been quite surprising, not to mention humbling to realize that our puppy has better personal hygiene than me. There is, of course, doggy shampoo and doggy conditioner (what troglodyte would not have separate shampoo and conditioning products?). There is also “dry” shampoo which is, I think, like doggy deodorant (again bringing shame to me for my personal hygiene). There are special combs, brushes of different sorts, tooth brushes, nail clippers, and Dr./Mrs. MusingMD also blow-drys Hadley’s hair after baths (I haven’t had enough hair to require a blow dryer since I turned 40). I am certain that Dr./Mrs. MusingMD is researching products to “promote a healthy, sheeny coat.” I haven’t even mentioned the special wipes to clean the puppy’s paws when she comes in from ‘doing her business,’ the special sprays to use for accidents (which remove the scent so that Hadley doesn’t decide to repeatedly mark her territory in this spot), and other special cleaning products to ensure that Hadley maintains acceptable standards of puppy hygiene.
I was also not aware there were so many nutritional options for puppies. Of course, we have her on a special breeder/veterinarian recommended diet of dog food. But Dr./Mrs. MusingMD is researching all the options including grain-free and raw. She started out on a probiotic. She now has graduated to various types of healthy treats for training, chewy treats for her teeth and to promote fresh breath, and various things that I am always being scolded by Dr./Mrs. MusingMD for eating after finding them in the refrigerator/freezer and thinking they are for me. I wasn’t crazy about the taste of all of them, but I figured that Dr./Mrs. MusingMD does most of the cooking so I try not to complain about the food. But who would have known that those little crunchy dog treats go so well when sprinkled on ice cream?
I did not realize the complexities associated with ‘toileting’ a puppy. I figured you took the dog out, it does its business, you pick it up with a shovel and discard it and you’re done. Dr./Mrs. MusingMD informed me that she is certainly not going to use a shovel, so after going through (what I thought was) a lifetime supply of plastic grocery bags (dogs poop a lot…maybe they need more bulk-forming fiber), she began researching more environmentally-friendly ways of managing the problem and found biodegradable bags with a travel dispenser to use. I am relieved by this because I was making daily trips to Walmart to pick up items solely for the purpose of keeping us aflush with plastic poop bags. And now that we are going in and out of the house so frequently for potty-training, of course we needed to replace all of our doormats with high quality mats from LL Bean, both inside and outside each door. And don’t forget the special treats as you need to reward the puppy every time after they go to the bathroom, which only keeps the potty cycle going. I am convinced that Hadley only half empties her bowels and bladder every time she is taken out in order to double the number of treats she receives in a day.
After our kids got into high school, I went through all of the years worth of toys we had acquired and discarded, gave away, or donated them and really thought that phase of life was over until we had grandchildren. I was unaware of the number of “puppy developmental devices” (as Dr./Mrs. MusingMD refers to them) required to raise a healthy dog. As the picture (of just some of these “toys,” as I call them) shows, there is a wide variety and they just keep coming. They have odd shapes, colors and even names. The KONG(™) is described as “The gold standard of dog toys offering enrichment by helping satisfy dogs’ instinctual needs.” It’s just a piece of rubber that you stuff with kibble and peanut butter (natural, no sugar or salt added peanut butter, of course). A couple times per week, another Amazon box shows up at our door with another device designed to “stimulate” Hadley. Or it might be a special blanket, travel related accessories, or personal care products. Our most recent purchase…an Amazon Echo to allow Dr./Mrs. MusingMD to play soothing, yet stimulating classical music for Hadley for when we are not home with her. Dr./Mrs. MusingMD can control this through her smartphone when she is away from the house and can watch Hadley on the puppycam (yes, an internet enabled video camera) to make sure it is having the desired effect.
Obviously, my puppy budget was misinformed and I continue to update it on a regular basis. The whole experience brings me back to the days of having children. There was always something new or different to try and Dr./Mrs. MusingMD spared no expense for items that would supposedly increase the child’s intelligence and chances of success. I guess I’m ok with that. But what I find the most challenging are the nearly daily episodes of panic I develop when Dr./Mrs. MusingMD frantically hollers from another room for me to immediately retrieve some item for Hadley that I am unable to identify (which naturally brings me back to the days of our kids’ childhood when the same scenario would play out).
